I try very hard not to judge other people, but I find it extremely hard to do since developing such strong views on how I parent Pookie. The concept of not using rewards punishment, & praise was new to me, but it really made sense. From year of teaching ballet I came to my own conclusions that my goal was to get the kids to WANT to work hard all on their own, and to WANT to follow the rules because they made sense and it was in their best interest. When I first started I leaned towards a lot of praise, and some punishment. Since moving away from this model, my students have become harder working, better behaved and better dancers IMO. Although it is very hard to use this method on older students who have never been taught how to push themselves. I am having that problem now. I find some of my older students need me to yell at them (they have actually requested it!), or set up competitions constantly to get them to do their best.
Anyways I was lying in bed last night trying to understand why a one year old needs timeout? (I don't plan to every use timeouts, but I find the use of them on 1 year olds more perplexing then on an older child)? I post on a very mainstream May 2007 board. It seems like most of the mom's use timeouts, and I can't even think of what might warrant one. Is it just that Pookie is really well behaved or is it just that what others might see as a problem that needs to be disciplined I see as a chance to redirect or educate. Last night Pookie was standing on her booster chair, after asking her to sit with no results, I explained to her that she might fall down and hurt herself. After she did a bit of a demonstration of falling and hurting herself she chose to sit there on her own. I think Alfie Kohn really articulated it well when he said something along the lines of that you need to think of your long term goals as a parenting. Using timeouts, bribes etc. certainly might get results, but in the long term it doesn't necessarily lead to the kind of child I want Everly to be.