I have been reading this book and I am really enjoying it. It was highly recommended over the mothering.com. I also bought the DVD as I thought I could get DH to watch it. It talks a lot about why punishments and rewards/ praise don't work.
In my years teaching ballet I have noticed more and more that giving kids praise or rewards only works in the short term. If you want to get them to really commit and to work hard for the right reason's it has to come from within and not be externally motivated. It has been interesting to read this different perspective and to find different ways to be a support loving parent, without constantly praising Pookie. That said it is HARD not to say "good girl" "good job". And sometimes it does feel right to give her a high five, but for the most part I try to use other alternatives such as describing. For example when she uses the potty I usually just say "you went pee pee on the potty". Lately I have been back sliding but I am trying to get back on track now that Pookie is able to understand most of what we say.