April 3, 2009

Mixed Feelings

As the time to possibly start TTC gets closer I find I am less enthusiastic than I thought.  Last night I climbed into bed with Pookie and we were snuggling each other and I just felt so much love for her.  I was thinking how much I am enjoying being a mom to her and how nice our life is now.  Not that is wasn't nice when she was a little baby, but it is much more relaxed and free now.  

I keep thinking how another baby will disrupt this and I just can't imagine giving up any of "our" time.  At the same time I really do want a second child and I really want to be able to give her a little brother or sister.

I never thought I would feel this way.  I know it is normal... but I didn't think it would happen to me.   

1 comment:

Artistmama said...

I have mixed feelings too and I'm 28 weeks PG! I felt the same before becoming pg but so wanted another. I do feel though that having another can only bring us closer and can't wait to see our baby's birth and babyhood through Michael's eyes. He so loves to kiss and hug my belly and tell Owen how much he loves him. Of course there will be jealousy but love will win out. I'm sure of this.