January 22, 2010

I am scared

Everly has been waking up EVERY NIGHT since August. This was when her 2 year molars started coming in. The last one came through 2 weeks ago and she is still waking up. Granted there have been a couple of better nights but overall I haven't seen an improvement. I should be clear that she has slept-through the night maybe twice ever... and I am fine with that. What I can't handle is her waking up and screaming, and wanting to eat, and watch TV etc.. That is what is scaring me so much.

Two nights ago we were up for 2 hours while she threw a huge violent tantrum because she wanted to watch TV. I just sat there with her in the basement, trying to stay calm, then crying and then finally she calmed down enough she would allow me to nurse and comfort her.

I feel so incredibly alone in this. I have posted several times on MDC about it and mostly get no responses. My husband is totally unhelpful with this kind of thing and in fact just makes me feel more stressed out about it. However in order to keep him calm I feel like I can't show my concerns and fears. I have 18 weeks until my due date!!! If Everly doesn't start sleeping through the night.. or rather staying in bed all night I don't know what I am going to do. I think I could handle it if my husband had his own sound-proof room to stay in, so I didn't have to stress about him feeling stressed.

Since I am mostly a stay at home/ work at home mom I have always felt it should be solely my job to parent Everly at night. Of course there are times my husband will help out but mostly I try to let him sleep so he can function at his job. The problem is even when I am doing it all myself if Everly is screaming no matter where you go in the house it will be heard, so then I am left feeling I am not doing a good enough job.

I just don't understand how she can be so incredibly easy and sweet during the day and then nighttime is HELL!

5 comments:

Jenn said...

My three and a half year old became a decent sleeper only a few months before his brother was born...it'll happen, likely just in the nick of time! She may be sensing your stress about it too. hat about leaving a drink and a snack next to her bed, and a light she can turn on. As long as she's happy and comfortable in her room, you (and hubby!) can keep sleeping.

P.S. My first son didn't sleep well till after 3, but the second (who is 3 weeks old) does nothing but sleep! I think if you have a sleepless baby the first time around, the universe takes pity on you with the second one!

Motherhood for the Weak said...

Hugs momma. It's hard. I'm a bit less patient with these kinds of phases so long as my toddler is fed, warm, got her paci and lovey then she's on her own.

If she doesn't settle down, I'll rock her or bring her to bed with us(but she doesn't sleep, I just end up taking her back to her room eventually and she goes down just fine then for some reason).

It's hard to know sometimes what is a genuine need for a toddler vs. a boundary pushing behavior. i.e. I know I can stay up if I do xyz vs. I need my momma.

I tend to challenge behavior to ensure it's not a boundary issue before I comfort and pull out the AP stuff. If that makes sense.

Lately our toddler has been chucking her lovey and paci out of the crib in a ploy to get us to come into her room. There's also the famous 'go potty' demands. We respond one or two times and then explain if she continues to throw things, we will remove them from her room--the boundary seems to work. We ignore the potty requests altogether because they are obvious manipulations.

Have you tried asking her why she won't sleep? Can she tell you what is going on at all? Does she need boundaries or is this a true developmental phase?

HTH
M

Anonymous said...

I like your blog. I am a journalism student doing a story about the diversity of parents who are into attachment parenting. I was wondering if you would have time for an interview about this?
My name is Meri. My email is: fem_meri@yahoo.ca I am a mother of two girls myself!!

Anonymous said...

I like your blog. I am a journalism student doing a story about the diversity of parents who are into attachment parenting. I was wondering if you would have time for an interview about this?
My name is Meri. My email is: fem_meri@yahoo.ca I am a mother of two girls myself!!

Anji said...

I saw that your post is a few months old, and I am wondering how your sweet pea is doing with her sleep now. Sounds like you are doing everything right, but need a little more support!

I just wanted to reach out as a fellow mom (I have 4 kids, 4yrs, 7yrs, 12yrs, and 15yrs) and let you know that this is really pretty normal, but I have found that usually if a child is waking up at night even while co-sleeping, they could have an ear infection or something like that, especially if she is not teething anymore. Or she may have just gotten used to waking because of the teething. Sometimes a child can have an ear infection or strep and still not have any noticeable symptoms at all! No fever or anything, just an unexplainable fussiness, or complaining of a tummy ache. But you posted this in January, so I hope that it has been resolved by now. If not, let me know and you won't have to feel so alone in the crazy toddler world! http://www.facebook.com/100PercentNaturalFamily