Learning

I have been doing a lot of colour talk with Pookie lately and I think she is starting to get it.  We have also been doing starfall.com once a day and doing the letter A and B, and she will now say the A sound when I ask what A says and same with B.  I don't want to push this all on her but I do want to give her a chance to learn her colours, shapes and letters.

I was thinking once the the holidays are over each week I would pick one shape, colour and letter, and really focus on those ones.  Just like when you are teaching signs.  You don't stop using the other ones but you definitely focus on the ones you are trying to teach.  I am hoping to make some stuffed felt letters and I thought we could play matching games with them.  We could use her wooden alphabet blocks and the felt letters and match them up.  We could do starfall once a day.  I feel like she is just on the cusp of being really receptive to this type of thing.  I guess the thing is to not get discouraged if she doesn't seem to be picking it up, because as long as she is having fun it is all good.

She is also REALLY into animals at the moment (especially horses), so I think I could seize the opportunity and show her lots of different ones.  We got her more mini animals for her stocking.  This time we got the canadian ones.  I think she will really enjoy the moose, and deer since they look so much like horses. 

Another baby... when?

It seems like each week I flip flop about having another baby.  The one thing that makes this decision easy is that I still haven't gotten my first post-partum period... Pooks will be 20 months on Jan 9.  Anyways one day I feel so anxious because I want Pookie and her sibling to be close enough in age to play with... the next I am overwhelmed with how much Pookie is still a baby, and how she needs all my attention.  Then some days I feel relaxed and just figure it will happen when it happens.  I wish there was a right answer.  

Unconditional Parenting by: Alfie Kohn

I have been reading this book and I am really enjoying it.  It was highly recommended over the mothering.com.  I also bought the DVD as I thought I could get DH to watch it.  It talks a lot about why punishments and rewards/ praise don't work.

In my years teaching ballet I have noticed more and more that giving kids praise or rewards only works in the short term.  If you want to get them to really commit and to work hard for the right reason's it has to come from within and not be externally motivated.  It has been interesting to read this different perspective and to find different ways to be a support loving parent, without constantly praising Pookie.  That said it is HARD not to say "good girl" "good job".  And sometimes it does feel right to give her a high five, but for the most part I try to use other alternatives such as describing.  For example when she uses the potty I usually just say "you went pee pee on the potty".  Lately I have been back sliding but I am trying to get back on track now that Pookie is able to understand most of what we say.

Giving up... sort of

The other night I tried to put Pooks down without nursing and it was a disaster.  I ended up nursing her but she was still really upset.  I ended up crying because I just felt so discouraged.  After thinking about it I have decided to take a much slower approach and just encourage less nursing.  She is mostly sleeping in the twin bed now so that is good, in the sense that we all seem to sleep a bit better.  Also when she nurses she always pops off at the end before she has fallen asleep.  I have started nursing her while I am on the queen and she is in the twin.  She has access to my boobs but it isn't the most comfortable.  This seems to work because she seems to give up and roll over sooner.  I am hoping that eventually she will start to not bother with nursing so much, and will be fine with just nursing while we read.

Her last 2 molars that are coming in now and really causing her a lot of pain.  Things are rough and I just need to remind myself that soon it will pass just like is has in the past. 

Commercial Toys

Since I first started doing a lot of reading over at mothering.com (my favourite website), I noticed a lot of the mom's avoided branded toys.  As Pookie has gotten older it is something I have looked into more.  At first I just viewed toys with the characters on them as junkie.  Then I started really realizing how buying one toy, book etc. with a character on it could turn into needing more and more.  We have pretty much avoided all that which is easy since Pookster is so little and doesn't watch any real TV shows.  One day I was doing more reading on it and someone over on mothering.com was posting about how using those types of toys inhibits creativity.  When I read that it all came together, and I really felt like I finally knew really why I wanted to avoid them.  

When you have a doll or action figure that is a certain character, and you child watches shows with that character, reads books with that character, it usually means they end up reinacting what they have been told that character does.  When they have a no name doll, it can be anything they want it to be.

I am hoping we can avoid all that... but it is hard when people give you those items as gifts.  I am pretty fortunate that the majority of people that would buy a gift for Pookie usually ask what she needs.  

Victory!

Daddy agreed to put Pookie to bed and stick with it for 30 minutes.  Everything seemed to go well for quite a while then she got really fussy so I just went in.  Within 5 minutes of just lying next to her and holding her sippy cup she was asleep - with no nursing!  She didn't even ask.  I think maybe having Daddy do most of it helped get it out of her mind and she was just happy to see me.

I also didn't mention that last night after each time she woke to nurse (4 times I think), she rolled back down into her bed.  My theory is this will help her sleep better since I won't wake her when I roll over etc.  Plus I can more easily get out of bed in the middle of the night if needed.

Frustrated with Nursing to sleep

Last night went terribly.  I am thinking part of it is the hour drive home we had, which Pookie slept through.  That was 5:00-6:00pm.  Today I tried to do the same routine for naptime and it was all going so well... then she just WOULD NOT nap without nursing.  I spent an HOUR reading books, rocking her, singing etc.  For most part she was just whiny and fussy.  Finally she got crying really hard and I ended up nursing her.  She fell asleep within a couple minutes (pictured above).  She naps no problem for DH and my mom without nursing.  I just feel really discouraged and I am trying hard not to be angry with Pookie.  Rationally I know it is not her fault at all and I try to stay as loving and calm as possible, but inside I can feel my blood boiling with anger.  After today I just want to give up... It makes me sad because I know life will be so much easier when she goes to sleep without nurisng.  I am thinking about the future and another baby and I just want things to go as smooth as possible once I get pregnant and once a new baby arrives.

Tonight Daddy will try putting Pookie down.  He doesn't have much patience at all for this type of thing, so I am not very hopeful.... but I do think there is a chance she will go down fine for him since I won't be there. Cross your fingers for us!