No more nursing to sleep... well almost

Today my husband calls me into the bedroom to show me what Pookie is doing.  She is sitting with her newest Corolle baby doll, with her arm around it her shirt up (well as up as she could get it, and was reading a book.  This is exactly what we do everynight before bed.  She even had her arm around the doll in the same way.  She loves nursing her babies, and also likes me to do it.  She even makes her little plastic animals nurse from each other.  The pig is a big favourite because it clearly a mommy pig with all its teets. :P

Anyways it has been almost a month and Pooks no longer wants to nurse to sleep at bedtime.  I nurse her for about 30 minutes+ while we read books then when I reach to turn off the lights I unlatch her and we are done.  She snuggles into bed and acts like she will just go to sleep... but usually it takes another 10 minutes.  First I sing to her and then I just lay there with her until she dozes off.   It has made bedtime SO much less stressful.  It was just too hard lying there for so long nursing her and fighting to stay awake.

We have made no progress with nightweaning.  I attempted to get her to sleep in the twin bed, which she does fine until the second time she wakes up at night.  Then it is miserable.  I think we will start her out in there and only try to keep her there on the weekends, and let her slowly get used to it.  She doesn't outright object but the past two nights she has been so restless.

More good news is that she seems to be staying asleep until Jeff and I go to bed.  This is AMAZING!  It is so nice not having to run up to her half way through a TV show. :)

I bought the "No Cry Sleep Solution for Toddlers" and I am finding it helpful.  Most of the tips I already was aware of but it is motivating to read and I feel like now I can come up with a realistic plan.

5 nights in a row of no "booba"

Everly has now gone 5 nights without nursing to sleep.  Wednesday night she did fuss, and I had to sing her A LOT of songs and nursery rhymes but she never cried.  Thursday I just sang for a couple minutes, and tonight she fell asleep on her way to bed.  She barely napped today and we went swimming which I think really tired her out.

Bedtime is so much better now.  I really like not getting stuck lying beside her forever.  She is still nursing the entire time I read, and I probably read to her for at least 15 minutes.  

I am thinking that next Friday I might try to not nurse her on her first waking of the night.  Whch reminds me she seems to be going back to her more normal sleeping schedule.  Last night I think she woke twice and it wasn't very eventful.  The night before she tossed and turned (a molar came through) but stayed in bed and didn't try to get out.  I think keeping her in the room even when she wanted out the prior nights helped get us back on track.

I feel hopeful that by the time I get pregnant (6+ months from now) she might be nightweaned.  I still love nursing her throughout the day and never feel like I want to stop that.  

Giving up... sort of

The other night I tried to put Pooks down without nursing and it was a disaster.  I ended up nursing her but she was still really upset.  I ended up crying because I just felt so discouraged.  After thinking about it I have decided to take a much slower approach and just encourage less nursing.  She is mostly sleeping in the twin bed now so that is good, in the sense that we all seem to sleep a bit better.  Also when she nurses she always pops off at the end before she has fallen asleep.  I have started nursing her while I am on the queen and she is in the twin.  She has access to my boobs but it isn't the most comfortable.  This seems to work because she seems to give up and roll over sooner.  I am hoping that eventually she will start to not bother with nursing so much, and will be fine with just nursing while we read.

Her last 2 molars that are coming in now and really causing her a lot of pain.  Things are rough and I just need to remind myself that soon it will pass just like is has in the past. 

Victory!

Daddy agreed to put Pookie to bed and stick with it for 30 minutes.  Everything seemed to go well for quite a while then she got really fussy so I just went in.  Within 5 minutes of just lying next to her and holding her sippy cup she was asleep - with no nursing!  She didn't even ask.  I think maybe having Daddy do most of it helped get it out of her mind and she was just happy to see me.

I also didn't mention that last night after each time she woke to nurse (4 times I think), she rolled back down into her bed.  My theory is this will help her sleep better since I won't wake her when I roll over etc.  Plus I can more easily get out of bed in the middle of the night if needed.

Frustrated with Nursing to sleep

Last night went terribly.  I am thinking part of it is the hour drive home we had, which Pookie slept through.  That was 5:00-6:00pm.  Today I tried to do the same routine for naptime and it was all going so well... then she just WOULD NOT nap without nursing.  I spent an HOUR reading books, rocking her, singing etc.  For most part she was just whiny and fussy.  Finally she got crying really hard and I ended up nursing her.  She fell asleep within a couple minutes (pictured above).  She naps no problem for DH and my mom without nursing.  I just feel really discouraged and I am trying hard not to be angry with Pookie.  Rationally I know it is not her fault at all and I try to stay as loving and calm as possible, but inside I can feel my blood boiling with anger.  After today I just want to give up... It makes me sad because I know life will be so much easier when she goes to sleep without nurisng.  I am thinking about the future and another baby and I just want things to go as smooth as possible once I get pregnant and once a new baby arrives.

Tonight Daddy will try putting Pookie down.  He doesn't have much patience at all for this type of thing, so I am not very hopeful.... but I do think there is a chance she will go down fine for him since I won't be there. Cross your fingers for us!

Bedtime Nursing Update

Things are going well on the bedtime nursing front.  Pookie for the most part is going to bed without nursing.  A couple nights ago she had a melt down and nothing I did could calm her down, so I nursed her.  I was sure I had ruined the progress that we made but the next night she went down no problem.  Tonight she was fine too.  She does make me hold her sippy cup for her.  I am hoping she will take over that job eventually if she still needs it.  

I have been more aware of how often she is waking now that she is sleeping in the twin and Daddy and I are together in the queen.  She has to get up onto our mattress which is about an inch higher so that is making me more aware.  The good thing about the height difference is she often just rolls off our mattress back into hers, although sometimes she insists on staying with us, and this morning she snuggled up with Daddy... so cute.

Anyways she is waking 3 times a night, which isn't much compared to some but it is still 3 times!  I am thinking a lot about baby #2 these days and I am thinking about all the things we can do to make life easier whenever he/she arrives.  I am hoping once her next 2 molars come in she will cut the frequency of the waking.  She is sleeping more peacefully now she only has 2, versus 6 teeth coming in. 

Busy

I have been pretty busy this week, but things will calm way down next and I am hoping to stick to my goal of one blog post per day.  I am also commited to spending more quality play time with Pookie.  These past few weeks we have been so busy getting stuff done we haven't done as much playing as usual.

So bedtime is getting easier and easier.  It is now smoother than when I was nursing Pooks to sleep.  Now after she says night night to the "booba's" she fusses for a couple minutes max and has been falling asleep pretty quickly.  I am really relieved how well it is work.  I would really like for her to get out of the habit of waking on one hour after I put her down, so that is my next goal.  So far it is hit or miss with whether she will go back down without nursing.  I am just going to stick to it and see what happens.  It would be so wonderful to be able to put her to bed and be able to stay up and watch an entire movie without her waking.  Is that too much to ask?

Here is a little video of her doing a couple puzzles.  She can do the cone one with no mistakes, but of course she didn't when I caught her on camera. :P  I would really love to get her a Waldorf Nesting Puzzle.  I think she would really enjoy it.  Does anyone have one?

Update on stopping nursing to sleep

It has been about a week since I first decided to try to stop nursing Pooks to sleep.  I nurse her while we read books and make sure she has had her fill before we say good-night to the "booba's".

The last two nights have been great.  She actually falls asleep faster when she isn't nursing to sleep.  My theory was that the nursing was preventing her from falling asleep because for the past several months she has to stop nursing to fall asleep.  

She isn't happy about this but she isn't traumatized or throwing big fits.  Last night she didn't cry at all she did say "no no no" but that was it.  Tonight she was grouchy well before bedtime so she did cry a bit but quickly stopped and fell asleep.  I just tell her "put your head on the pillow" and that seems to do the job.

I am so pleased with our progress I have been plotting out a plan so that hopefully by the time we have another baby night time shouldn't be too big of an issue.  The next step in my plan is to stop nursing her if she wakes up when Daddy and I are still up.  It is SUCH a pain that she often wakes up within an hour of falling asleep, so I am hoping eliminating nursing there might encourage her to sleep for a few hours straight.   I have no intention of night weaning yet.  I am fine with that.

The final step will be to distance myself as she is falling asleep.  So when I tell her to put her head on the pillow first I will put space between us, then I will sit up a bit, then I will sit further and further away, until hopefully eventually, one day, I will be able to turn off the lights, give her a kiss goodnight and leave.  I am happy to let this happen at Pookie's own pace but I feel like if I don't take the initiative it will not happen for a LONG LONG time!

Nursing a Toddler in public

I have been thinking about how odd it is that it feels OK to nurse a baby in public but not a toddler.  It isn't like you are showing any more skin with an older baby but the feeling is definitely different.  I do feel more self-conscious now, which I don't like but can't help.  For the most part Pookie doesn't need to or want to nurse when we are out and about.  She often does want to when we are at the Early Years Centre (free play centre) and I nurse her there.   I have had a few other mom's ask me how old she is and give me a look like I am weird for nursing her.  I have made a conscious decision not to let any looks deter me.  I often feel that maybe if another woman sees me she might feel more comfortable doing it one day or might realize that babies can and do nurse past the infant stage.

Trying to Stop Nursing to Sleep

I absolutely have no intentions of leading Pookie to wean, but what has been making me lose my mind is the ENDLESS nursing she does while trying to fall asleep.  She actually started rolling over to fall asleep several months ago.  It seems that she can't fall asleep with the breast in her mouth, but often she doesn't want to stop. 

Anyways I have really had enough.  I don't mind nursing her before bed but I really want her to start falling asleep on her own.  So my rather unthought out plan & definitely not researched plan is to explain to her that "Booba's go to sleep after books", and give it about 10 minutes (I can do anything but nurse her for those 10 mins).   If she is still upset after that and there is no hope of her falling asleep I will just nurse her.  So last night it didn't go so well... although during the process there were some hopefully moments but then she would set herself off.  Tonight... it was MAGIC!  When we said night night to the booba's she just said no a million times and basically fell asleep immediately.  Granted she must of been tired.  She was with her Grandmother today who said she had an early nap.

I am really hopeful this might work and might help make bedtime less stressful for me.  I have just been so unhappy lying there for so long nursing her.  

For her naps she basically just quickly nurses and passes right out.  I think this is because she has gotten used to napping without nursing through my mom and husband.

I am hoping tomorrow night goes OK.

Busy Days - Naturopath

The top picture is Pookie last spring at my parents and the picture below it is me.  I am working a project which involves scanning lots of old pictures so I have had fun finding ones of Pooks and I that are similar.

Pooks still has that rash around her mouth.  It is not very bad at all but her Daddy is so worried and has threatened to do horrible stuff to me (joke) if I don't take her to the doctor.  I was resistant to that because all the doctor will do is prescribe some cream, rather than look into what is causing it.  So I decided to make an appointment to see a naturopath.  This ND works out of the midwives clinic I will use for my next pregnancy.  She specializes in children and women, and she is also a doula.  She is very AP and even pro alternative schooling.  I decided to make an appointment for myself as well and she said she could even see Pookie's Dad.   

I will be really relieved to have someone I can trust to go to when Pookie isn't well.  Since she was born I was scared into giving her antibiotics twice and honestly it is one of my biggest regrets.  It isn't that I am against them but I do think they are over prescribed, and the co-relation between their use and asthma scares me.

Both Pookie's dad and her cousin from Daddy's side have asthma (Dad not anymore).  It is actually one of the reasons I got interested in extended-nursing.  I did a lot of research on how to prevent it.

The ND has a pre-pregnancy detox program.  I am really excited to get some input on that.  Before we started TTC I really cleaned up me eating habits in order for my body to be as healthy as possible. 

Co-Sleeping

One of the decisions I am happiest about is co-sleeping.  We started out with our crib sidecarred to our bed.  That was great for the first 2 months when she was so tiny.  As she got bigger we used the crib less and less, until finally we went to sell our condo and took down the crib and just put her in the bed.  Pookies Dad was mostly sleeping on the couch because Pookie was such a noisy nurser.  When we moved my parents gave us a single bed and we just put that next to our queen.  Since then Pooks and I sleep in the "big bed" and Daddy in the little one.  It has been working great.  I honestly can't imagine having it any other way and I certainly can't imagine breastfeeding at night with her in another room.  This way I barely have to wake up to nurse her.  Eventually I would like her to sleep in the little bed next to us in preparation for a sibling one day.  Right now it is not possible because she is sleeping so poorly due to teething.

It might not be the most beautiful room but it works really well for us.  

Breastfeeding & CIO vent

The Story

So... a woman breastfed her toddler on the steps of a pool. Personally it is not something i would do... although I have nursed on the pool deck and above is a picture of Pooks nursing in the ocean! Anyways the woman was asked to go to the change room. There are a nurse-in, security guards and now it is in the news.

What I can not believe are the ignorant comments (click on the title on my blog for links). Someone compared breastfeeding in public to peeing in public. Honestly it just makes me sick. All my closest friends share the same views about breastfeeding I do so sometimes I forget how ignorant people are.

I think someone suggested giving the baby a bottle of formula. *sigh* I honestly thought people were getting it through their heads that "breast is best" and that we should be doing everything possible to make mothers able to breastfeed!

I was listening to CFRB 1010 last weekend to Dr. Lester (first and last time I will listen to his show), and he had a caller with a baby under 1 who was not sleeping through the night. He suggested Ferberization (letting the baby cry it out) and giving some formula. WTH!!! I can't believe someone would give such out of date advice. The Dad seemed really unsure and you could tell it went against his instincts. UGH! No wonder people are so ignorant when you get advice like that from a "professional".

Here is a quote from the following website :

"It has been suggested in the past that CIO is healthy for infants’ physical development, particularly the lungs. A recent study looking at the immediate and long-term physiologic consequences of infant crying suggests otherwise. The following changes due to infant crying have been documented: increased heart rate and blood pressure, reduced oxygen level, elevated cerebral blood pressure, depleted energy reserves and oxygen, interrupted mother-infant interaction, brain injury, and cardiac dysfunction. The study’s researchers suggested that caregivers should answer infant cries swiftly, consistently, and comprehensively, recommendations which are in line with AP principles. "

I could go on and on but it just seems like either people are receptive or they aren't.