Better Bedtime

A few months ago I was gently working towards weaning Pookie from nursing to sleep. It was going well... then she got sick and we started nursing to sleep again. I thought all our "work" had gone out the window, but she started putting her head on her pillow after nursing a bit and then going to bed.

Then I started telling her to put her head on the pillow when we were done reading & nursing, and she would do it without any fuss. Then one night I had to leave the room after she put her head down. I left planning to go back but it was pretty clear she was fine. Since then I have started leaving her in the room awake. We read/ nurse, turn the lights off and I give her a kiss goodnight and leave. Most of the time she is fine and just goes to sleep.

I am SO pleased with this. It was one of my goals to have her able to fall asleep on her own before baby #2 comes into the picture. At this point that will be a year away at the very earliest, so I am very hopefully that we will reach that goal by then.

Now that said, she has been waking up again 1-1.5 hours after I put her to sleep. She had stopped but is back to doing this. Right now I think it might be partially because she is getting some new teeth. One of my other hopes is that she is mostly sleeping through the night by the time #2 comes along. I can handle one or even 2 night wakings but I would really like to be able to put her to bed and have mom/ dad time without interuptions. Who knows if it will happen? I figure it can't hurt to be optomistic, and to do everything I can to put odds in our favour of it happening.

Phase 2 of sleepweaning

Pooks is so good at going to bed now without nursing I am moving to phase 2.  Now the plan is I tuck her into the twin bed that is against our queen, sing her 2 songs and leave.  I have done it a couple times now, and if she sits up and asks where I am going I just tell her, "mommy is going pee pee".  Which usually is true - I just don't mention coming back or not coming back.  Last night she called for me and I just called in and said I was doing pee pee, and she must of gone back asleep.  I just forsee it being really useful to be able to leave her to fall asleep on her own, once another baby comes into the picture.

Now if I could just have some progress with night-weaning.  Right now I nurse her and try to get her to go back into the little bed for her first two wakenings.  After that she comes in the queen with me and hubby goes into the little bed.  Last night she actually rolled back in those first two times on her own  - although she didn't sleep well until she got into the big bed.  I am hoping the fact that she rolled back in on her own is progress.  I think it will be beneficial to have her sleep in her own bed - even if it is against our.

No more nursing to sleep... well almost

Today my husband calls me into the bedroom to show me what Pookie is doing.  She is sitting with her newest Corolle baby doll, with her arm around it her shirt up (well as up as she could get it, and was reading a book.  This is exactly what we do everynight before bed.  She even had her arm around the doll in the same way.  She loves nursing her babies, and also likes me to do it.  She even makes her little plastic animals nurse from each other.  The pig is a big favourite because it clearly a mommy pig with all its teets. :P

Anyways it has been almost a month and Pooks no longer wants to nurse to sleep at bedtime.  I nurse her for about 30 minutes+ while we read books then when I reach to turn off the lights I unlatch her and we are done.  She snuggles into bed and acts like she will just go to sleep... but usually it takes another 10 minutes.  First I sing to her and then I just lay there with her until she dozes off.   It has made bedtime SO much less stressful.  It was just too hard lying there for so long nursing her and fighting to stay awake.

We have made no progress with nightweaning.  I attempted to get her to sleep in the twin bed, which she does fine until the second time she wakes up at night.  Then it is miserable.  I think we will start her out in there and only try to keep her there on the weekends, and let her slowly get used to it.  She doesn't outright object but the past two nights she has been so restless.

More good news is that she seems to be staying asleep until Jeff and I go to bed.  This is AMAZING!  It is so nice not having to run up to her half way through a TV show. :)

I bought the "No Cry Sleep Solution for Toddlers" and I am finding it helpful.  Most of the tips I already was aware of but it is motivating to read and I feel like now I can come up with a realistic plan.

5 nights in a row of no "booba"

Everly has now gone 5 nights without nursing to sleep.  Wednesday night she did fuss, and I had to sing her A LOT of songs and nursery rhymes but she never cried.  Thursday I just sang for a couple minutes, and tonight she fell asleep on her way to bed.  She barely napped today and we went swimming which I think really tired her out.

Bedtime is so much better now.  I really like not getting stuck lying beside her forever.  She is still nursing the entire time I read, and I probably read to her for at least 15 minutes.  

I am thinking that next Friday I might try to not nurse her on her first waking of the night.  Whch reminds me she seems to be going back to her more normal sleeping schedule.  Last night I think she woke twice and it wasn't very eventful.  The night before she tossed and turned (a molar came through) but stayed in bed and didn't try to get out.  I think keeping her in the room even when she wanted out the prior nights helped get us back on track.

I feel hopeful that by the time I get pregnant (6+ months from now) she might be nightweaned.  I still love nursing her throughout the day and never feel like I want to stop that.  

Night #2

Our second night started out so well.  Pooks had her bath, we got her ready for bed, and I read her 10 books again.  She was so tired by the time I finished the last book.  Once again I told her that the "booba's were going night night".  She was upset, for maybe 5 seconds.  The she put her head on the pillow and passed out in under 5 minutes!!  I felt so great.

Then she woke up in the middle of the night and would not go back to sleep.  She fussed, then cried, and then tantrumed.   It probably took us an hour to get her to go back to sleep.  DH was good though and told me to stay in the room even though he had to get up for work.  He wanted to hold her while she tantrumed but I told him to let her go.  He left while she let it out by the bedroom door.  It only took maybe 5-10 minutes before she decided to go back in bed.  She tried to fall asleep but just couldn't.  It took so long, she was so restless.  I noticed this morning that her bottom molar is through so perhaps it was making it's way up last night?

I wish DH would go sleep in the basement.  I get so stressed knowing he is stressed about being tired for work.  We actually have a spare room but the noise would carry right into it, so it is pointless for him to sleep there.

I hope tonight goes better.  She still has one more molar left in this set.

First Night a Success

Well I had prepared for the worst last night and it went shockingly well. We did our normal bedtime routine. I read Pookie 10 books, which is more than usual and after each book I reminded her that after we finished reading the "booba's would go to sleep." She kept saying "yeah". When we read the last book I unlatched her and she reached out and made her smacking noises she makes when she wants to nurse. I told her to go get her pillow and she did. She put her head on the pillow and I offered her some water. I turned off the lights and she just lay there. I held my breath.
Then she got a bit restless and I asked if she wanted to cuddle and she said yes. She snuggled up to me and passed out in under 5 minutes!!

Holy smokes that was EASY! She definitely remembered the routine from before when we did this. I think reading her lots of books also helped her unwine. Who knows what tonight will bring... but at least we have one very successful night under our belts.

She woke up at 11:30 and wanted out of bed. SHe didn't want to nurse, she wanted "UP!!!". Jeff was in bed at this point and together we kept her in bed. She settled down when I offered to sing Jingle Bells. I sang until she fell asleep and the rest of the night was uneventful. I felt like she remembered the night before when I wouldn't let her out because while she defintely wanted out she didn't try as hard as before.

Nightweaning Plan

Pookie has been sleeping better this past week.  She has still had her moments but I feel more clear in the head.  For the record we do try to live as consensually as possible but I have come to realize we will never be fully consensual.  It just doesn't feel right to me.  Because I am aware of CL I have found the idea of any type of mother-led weaning hard.  The thing is after much thought I do know what we are doing right now isn't working and is definitely not going to work with another baby.  I want to give Pookie lots or lead time to the changes I would like to make before we have another baby.

I am sure after observing Pooks last night that the reason she is now getting up in the middle of the night is simply because it is fun.  At first it may of been because of her teeth, but now I am very certain she is doing it because she wakes up and wants to go hang out in the basement.  She woke up last night shortly after I put her to bed and threw a fit wanting to go downstairs.  I just had to put my foot down.  I kept the bedroom door shut and was beside her as she tantrumed.  Eventually she mellowed out and came and cuddled with me until finally she fell asleep.  She slept really well.  So part of my new nighttime plan is that if she does wake up we don't leave the room.  If DH doesn't like it he can leave!

Phase one of my nightweaning plan is to go back to not nursing her to sleep, and not nursing her until about 10pm.  After 10pm I will nurse her as much as she likes.  Once that goes smoothly I will extend the time by an hour or two, so we gradually go longer and longer without nursing at night.  I will let her nurse all she wants while we read books, but after that I am going to put a tight shirt on she can't get into.  I will sing to her, rock her, cuddle her as much as she needs.

Tonight will be the first night.  I hope it goes OK!