Surviving a Public Meltdown

Today Pookie and I went to the library and then to the mall.  We went into Mastermind, which always has lots of toys out for the kids to play with.  Pooks played for ages on the Thomas table and then with this wooden barn.  Then she says "baby" and races over to the babies.  She spotted some Corolle doll not in a box she had never seen before.  She grabbed it and cuddled it and started high-tailing it out of the store.  I raced after her and stopped her.  I got down on her level and explained the doll had to go back.  Then she started hugging it really tight saying "please please", in a desperate voice.  I might of got it for her but it was $20, and just not worth it.  After explaining to her that the doll had to go back with it's friends, she really lost it.  I moved quickly, picked her up, put the doll back and got out of the store.

I could hardly hold her because she was going all limp.  She was SOBBING so loud, and it seemed like everyone was looking.  I looked for a spot to put her down and talk to her.  She wouldn't stand and ended up lying down flat on her back in tears.  I tried reasoning with her, offered to take her to the pet store, but it was clear she just needed to cry.  Again I carried her, this time over to a soft bench.  I put her down and let her cry for a while.  OMG I swear EVERYONE was staring at us.  That was the only stressful thing about the whole situation.  I gave up sooner than I probably "should" of and took her down to the pet store.  There she slowly came out of "it", but she was still a toddler on the edge. :P  Finally she was calm enough that I could get her organized to go home.  

There is something really empowering about getting through a public tantrum without losing your cool.  So many times I see people yelling at their kids making the situation worse.  I am always sympathetic because it is so hard to deal with, at the same time I take notes on what NOT to do.   Next time if it happens I will take her to a place that is a bit more private so I can let her work it out.

Language Explosion has Begun

It seems that the "language explosion" has begun for Pookie. There have been times that I have been vaguely worried that she didn't use as many words as her peers. Mostly I knew it was unfounded and that her comprehension was wonderful and that with her signs, and sounds she could communicate very well. Still I have been hopeful she would start talking soon, and now I got my wish!

It is amazing how each day she says a few new words, & uses more words to communicate. She is also using a few phrases like "all done" and "I don't know". Last night we were looking at a book and I was pointed to the pictures asking her what they were. There were two pictures of berries, and she pointed to one picture then the other and said "both". This just blew my mind... I know it really isn't that amazing, but to hear her use a word like "both" correctly was pretty cool.

I am working on an excel sheet so I can list all the words she knows, and when she acquires them. So far I am up to 100. I think by the time she is 2 she will be talking quite well. My baby is growing up!!

EC Grad

I think I can say with 100% certainty that Pookie is now an EC Grad. In the last 2 weeks she has started waking up in the middle of the night to tell me she has to go pee, and during the day she has been 100% reliable, and lets me know when she has to go. My hope was that she would be a grad by the time she turned 2, so we are 2 months ahead of schedule!

I remember when I first started reading about EC it seemed so over the top, and foreign to me. By no means was I against it but it just seemed extremist. Now it seems like the most natural thing you could do.

Last week my sister sent me a link to an article on ECing,
http://www.parentcentral.ca/parent/article/599942
and it just BLEW MY MIND that people got so angry and were so negative about it in their comments. I think a lot of people totally miss the point, and think that you are trying to "train" a newborn, and really it isn't about that at all. Some people say "it is the parents that are trained"... I know some EC parents get offended by this but I do think there is truth to that... and SO WHAT?

So what if I have trained myself to listen to my babies needs, and make sure she isn't sitting in a dirty diaper? Is that really so bad? After my husband - who really just goes along with my ideas, read the article and comments he said "but who puts an age limit on getting past crapping yourself? Seriously!?! " . So true! What is so bad about a child learning to use the potty sooner than later?

Play Space

I always love it when I get to see other families' play spaces, so I thought I would share one of ours.  We have one finished room in the basement.  1/3 of it is for our couch and TV and everything behind it is for Pookie.  We got the storage system from ikea.  It works really well for toys with lots of parts & for stuffed animals.  

I got the foam letters and numbers were given to us from my husbands cousin.  Since our walls are in such rough shape down there (notice the pealing wallpaper - not picked by us), I didn't hesitate to put them up.

I got the open shelf on craigslist for $20, it is $100 at ikea.  I just put that down there last week and Pookie has been enjoying having her puzzles on it.

Not seen in the shot is a closet.  Once we do a bit more decluttering, my husband is going to dry wall it, paint it and turn it into a secret hideaway for Pookie.  My cousins had one under their stairs and I was always loved playing in there so much.

We also have some toys upstairs in our living room/ dining room - her kitchen and some other odds and ends are up there.   

Imaginative Play

Pookie's play these day's consist almost entirely of imaginative play.  She has two Corolle dolls and will take the two of them, make voices for them (no words though), make them dance around, push each other in the stroller.  She will even put puzzle pieces in their tiny hands and try to get them to do her puzzles.  When she plays with me or DH she always wants to play dolls, with her farm set or train set.  It is pretty amazing to watch,  especially when she gets really involved all by herself.  

I am trying my best to foster this and encourage her imagination as much as I can.  We have started to play "cats".  We walk around on all fours, meowing, cleaning our selves and rubbing heads.   She really enjoys this game.

Another one that seemed to click this morning is play "baby" where she pretends to be a little baby.  It was pretty cute she crawled into my arms and I rocked her like a baby and she did her impersonation of a little baby crying - which actually sounds like a screech.  

I always thought the baby phase would be my favourite but I am enjoying her toddlerhood much more!  It is so amazing watching her grow and learn everyday.

Why I choose wooden toys

Sometimes I drive along thinking about topics for my blog and I got to thinking about wooden toys and why I choose them.   First of all I have to admit that if the majority of MDC mothers do it, I usually follow suit.  That is what got me into wood toys, from there I did my research.  Here are some reason's, off the top of my head.

1./ They are more the most part more aesthetically pleasing to look at.  I will happily set up Everly's wood toys in our living room, but a pile of plastic is just an eyesore to me.

2./ They hold up better.  When a wood toy gets used and abused it just looks antiqued... when a plastic toy gets old it looks worn out and grubby.

3./ Plastics have "plasticizer's" in them which aren't good.  Things like BPA and phthalates... yucky.  Not good for kids.

4./ The act of making a plastic toy creates a lot of pollution.  IMO it is worse than using a renewable resource like a tree.

5./ They tend to be simpler in design, which can mean more use of the imagination and less "do-dads" to distract the child.

6./ You really can't find many "junky" wooden toys... on the other hand there are so many plastic toys that are just junk.  Stuff that is a novelty for a while and will later end up in a landfill.  When you buy a wood toy you think out your purchase since they aren't cheap.

Strong Will

It seems like just when I get used to a stage, and have figured out how to avoid any meltdowns, we move into a new stage.  Pookie seems to be moving into a phase where she really wants to do what she wants to do... now!  Her fuse is short these days (for her anyways).  In past months I have had a handful of tricks to make getting dressed, leaving the house/ play centre etc.  go relatively smoothly, but now those "tricks" aren't working anymore.  

I have read quite a bit on consensual living and subscribe to a CL yahoo group.  I am definitely inspired by some of the ideas behind it, but do not aspire to be fully consensual.  As much as possible I try to allow Pookie to do what she wants to do, as long as she is not going to get hurt or hurt others.  When it is practical I try to do things in the way she would like them done, but sometimes I need her to do what I want.  For example not put her smelly damp bathing suit on.  Before I really prided myself in being able to say something to make the situation OK with Pookie, or find an acceptable alternative.  These days, if she doesn't get her way it leads to a temper tantrum.  Which always leaves me feeling like I am not being a good parent.  Rationally I know that isn't true, but I still feel that way.

I think we definitely need to shift how we interact with Pookie now and let her feel in control as much as we can.  I am hoping I figure out this phase relatively quickly!!  I am feeling pretty happy with our decision to wait on baby #2.