Busy Busy

Pookie is keeping me SO busy these days. When she is feeling good she wants me to dance with her, take her outside, or play with her. Sometimes she will get quite involved in her kitchen and do that on her own, but other than that she needs me. When she isn't happy she is either having tantrums or is increadibly whiny. I am finding it really hard to find the time to even think straight let alone blog these days.

Her tantrums are getting to me. I feel so useless when she throws a one. Sometimes it will happen when I am trying to get ready so that I can take her outside, or to the park etc. It is so frustrating to be unable to do anything. She hasn't been eating much lately, and I am wondering if being hungry is making her more on edge. Yesterday she just had yogurt, avocado, a small piece of cheese, a bit of potato and some of Daddy's frozen yogurt. Normally she would eat much more. It has been this way for a few weeks. She will often only have a few bites of her dinner. Her nursing does seem to be up a bit, but not a lot. Has anyone else dealt with this?

My parents are increadibly supportive and they love Pookie so much. However I do feel... judged (not sure if that is the right word), when Pookie loses it. It feels like they think I am to blame. Like perhaps I am too permissive or something. Bleh. For the most part I don't let it get to me, but sometimes it is hard not to.

Depsite this being a challenging time it sure is a lot of fun. Pookie is talking more and more everyday. She is constantly trying to tell us things. More and more her little personality is being revealed and I just love getting to know her.

Strong Emotions

Lately Pookie and I seem out of sync. I think this is because I have taken on a private lesson on Wednesday mornings which means one of our mornings is gone. Also DH is working away on our upstairs which means every weekend Pookie and I have to leave the house (usually to the Zoo). I am feeling increadibly stressed, Pooks is grouchy, taxes are due, student exams are coming up and Pookie's b-day is soon. I am so looking forward to May when things calm down and Pookie and I can try to get back in sync again.

Now that Pooks is getting older, her personality seems to becoming more and more clear. She seems to be a lot more active than other kids her age. Not hyperactive at all, just full of energy. She also seems to understand how to get a reaction out of people and how to ham it up. She has an arsenal of faces she makes and sometimes she will make one and you think she really is feeling sad or grouchy, and then she will look you in the eye and start laughing. When she is happy she glows, but when she is upset... watch out! She has been having more temper tantrums lately. Ones that I can't control at all. In the past I let them run their course, but usually I sense when she is almost done and an offer or a hug or to nurse will usually snap her out of it. Now the length of time she spends upset has increased. It is so hard to watch her so upset and I always feel increadibly guilty. I also access to see if it is something I could of prevented, and even if I can't come up with a way I still feel responsible.

Yesterday I took her to the Play Centre. We got there much later than usual so Pookie still really wanted to play when it was time to go. They do a circle time and I thought she would like it. In hindsight I should of just left immediately. I took her over and she saw the train set and wanted to pull it all out. All the toys had been put away and you are not supposed to take them out. Well I told her she could have one train and I thought that would be cool. Boy was I wrong. She LOST IT! She ran and threw herself down and started sobbing... while they were all singing songs. I stayed calm and tried to get all our stuff together as fast as possible. It felt like it took FOREVER! I picked her up screaming and kicking and took her to the car. Once in the car I decided to let her calm down until she was ready to either go home or go to the store. After 40 minutes of sitting in the car she just wanted to play in there and I had to put her in her seat forcibly. I felt so aweful & defeated I just wanted to cry.

We got home and had a nap together and she was much more pleasant when she woke up.

I am hoping that teething is playing apart in this. She is still cutting her eye teeth and last night she tossed and turned, and this morning she saw a teething ring in the freezer, grabbed it and chewed on it until it was room temperature.